Bowhunter Nation - Mike Maistros Moment

Mike Maistros Moment - #2

Written by Inglewood Jack III
Friday, 10 April 2009
We here at Bowhuter Nation are proud to be able to grace you with the first of what will be many - Mike Maistros moments. (You know you love it.) ---------- ALL ABOARD! Catch the Mikey Maistros Express to AWESOMETOWN! "If only it was 'five different TACOS'. That would be more awesomer-er."-boB 'Taco Time' Ellis ---------- And Now Sit Back and Enjoy ..... Chris Farley: Um, hi. Welcome to The Chris Farley Show. I'm.. Chris Farley.. and, my guest tonight is.. one of the.. greatest players.. uh, roller hockey players. I guess, centers, ever. GOD! That sounds stupid! God, I'm an idiot! I never know how to start these things! Mike Maistros: You're doing great, Chris. Chris Farley: Really? No, I'm not. Anyway.. I guess.. I didn't have, have to say, who you were, because.. man, I mean.. everyone knows who you are. Mmm.. you're Mike Maistros. Mike Maistros: Well, it's great to be here. Chris Farley: You.. you.. you remember when you were with St. Vato’s? Mike Maistros: Yeah, sure. Chris Farley: That was AWESOME! Mike Maistros: Yeah, it was. Chris Farley: IDIOT!! That's so stupid! What a dumb question!! Mike Maistros: No, no, no, Chris. I get asked that all the time in interviews. Maria Shriver asked the same question last week. Chris Farley: Really? [ pause ] Did you know that she's married to Arnold Schwartzenegger? Mike Maistros: Yeah. I've heard that. Chris Farley: Did you see "Terminator"? Mike Maistros: No, I missed that one. Chris Farley: That was a pretty awesome flick. [ pause ] O-kay.. remember.. you remember when you were with St. Vato’s, and you were supposed to be dead, and, uh, there was all these cludes, that, like, uh, you played some song backwards, and it'd say, like, "Maistros Is Dead", and, uh, everyone thought that you were dead? That was, um, a hoax, right? Mike Maistros: Yeah. I wasn't really dead. Chris Farley: Right. I think we.. I think we got time for one more question. Uh.. remember when you with St. Vato’s? And, um, you played that game – Bowhunter Ass. Hockey Championship, and at the very end of the game, it would.. the puck came to you, and you like scored a goal with the puck and it like won the game and stuff? You.. you remember that? Mike Maistros: Yes. Chris Farley: Uh.. is that true? Mike Maistros: Yes, Chris. In my experience, it is. I find, the more you score, the more you win. Chris Farley "AWESOME!" Well, that's it for this week's show. Thank you, Mike Maistros, thank you, for being one of the greatest.. of hockey.. I mean, a living legend. And uh, a legend of Bowhunter Ass. Hockey.. and.. just thanks for being on the show, and.. GOD DANGIT! That sounded stupid! I knew I'd screw up! Paul McCartney: You did fine, you did fine, Chris. Chris Farley: Really? Thanks, man. Thanks. Thank you. ….. Remember.. remember when I was talking to you about "The Terminator"? You.. you should see that movie, it's pretty cool.. ---------- As always we conclude with the current: TOP TEN MIKE MAISTROS FACTS 10. Mike Maistros does not sleep. He waits. 9. Mike Maistros can have his cake AND eat it too. 8. Mike Maistros does not love Raymond. 7. The agent of Mike Maistros asked Mike if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Mike Maistros' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Mike Maistros to be in a gay cowboy movie. 6. Mike Maistros delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years. 5. Mike Maistros is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 4. When Mike Maistros does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. 3. Mike Maistros is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Mike Maistros. 2. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Mike Maistros. 1. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Mike-tatorship.
Last Updated ( Friday, 10 April 2009 )